Category Archives: Sports

Murders and executions

If you lived in Chicago in 1981, your phone company would have been AT&T, as was everybody’s. Then the government broke up the monopoly, and it would have been Illinois Bell, then Ameritech, then SBC. Now it’ll be AT&T again.

In New York, after AT&T dissolved, you would have become a New York Telephone customer, then NYNEX, then Bell Atlantic, then Verizon. It’ll still be Verizon, but MCI will now be part of that. You know, MCI — formerly WorldCom.

Pacific Bell Park opened in San Francisco in 2000, the new home of the San Francisco Giants. I thought it was pretty decent as far as corporate names go — at least it had “Pacific” in it, and the stadium was situated right on the Pacific Ocean. But then the Pac became SBC Park. I can only assume it will now be AT&T Park, which is slightly better than SBC Park, but nowhere near as good as Pac Bell, and much worse still than something non-corporate that won’t change twice in five years.

Had a bank account with Manufacturers Hanover in the mid-’80s? You got shunted off to Chemical, then to Chase. When I went to college in 1995, the school gave me an account with Northern Trust, which became NBD, which became First Chicago, which became Bank One, which is now — you guessed it — also Chase. I closed my account while it was still First Chicago, but if I had stayed, I would have been a customer of an astounding five companies in 10 years. That’s one merger every two years.

There’s something wrong about all of this, but we’re living in monopoly-friendly times. At least the world will finally be rid of the SBC logo, which I think is hideous.

Once in a lifetime

How ’bout them White Sox! See, I knew they could take the Astros. I must admit I thought this team, what with their thoroughly mediocre second half, had no chance of winning the World SeriesĀ  — plus, though they’re my favorite AL team, I was pulling mildly for the Red Sox in the ALDS because I thought the Bosox had a better chance of beating the Yankees if the Evil Empire had made it to the second round. But as soon as they won that series, I root, root, rooted for my Chicago White Sox like a champ! To celebrate, here’s quirky second-year Sox manager Ozzie Guillen engaging in one of his trademark mouth kisses:

ozzie_kiss.jpg

Making those rafters ring

I found myself surprisingly excited at the White Sox’ big American League championship win tonight. If the Astros should win the NL, I think the Sox can take ’em, too! (Though I probably just cursed them by saying that.) Well, whatever happens, I’ll be watching the World Series closely, even though America most certainly won’t be.

Pat Tillman: commie

Hey, remember Pat Tillman, the millionaire NFL player who quit to join the Army after Sept. 11 and became a Republican martyr after getting killed in Afghanistan? Turns out he was a left-winger who loved Noam Chomsky and thought the war in Iraq was “fucking illegal.” Upon hearing about this, No. 1 Tillman fan Ann Coulter’s head exploded. She’s still in denial (“I don’t believe it!”), but once she inevitably reaches the stage of acceptance, expect her to find multiple creative ways to call him a traitor. Also expect her not to get in any trouble whatsoever for bashing him, unlike Ted Rall, who must feel pretty stupid right now.