Advice on throwing a classy funeral

There is currently a giant white stretch Hummer parked in front of the funeral home across the street. I’ve never seen so long a stretch vehicle of any kind.

If you’re around when I die, please endeavor to let anyone planning a funeral know this: no stretch Hummers.

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4 responses to “Advice on throwing a classy funeral

  1. But why? That funeral sounds like it’s so ballin’!

  2. It’s all about the context. You haven’t seen the kind of people who get buried there.

  3. Really? What kind?

    BTW, I don’t really think stretch Hummers are “ballin’.” I actually shook my fist at one.

  4. Yeah, I didn’t figure you were an actual fan of the stretch Hummer. Hummers are irritating enough without being stretched.

    It’s often immigranty Jews who hold funerals there, though the funeral home itself is not exclusively Jewish.

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