Last night after dark, as I returned home from parking my borrowed car in Vladivostok, I engaged in my new favorite pastime ever since I’ve become a homeowner: looking into people’s windows. I know it’s very wrong, but I love doing it — I need to know how my apartment compares to the others in the neighborhood. Do they look worse than mine? How much worse? A lot? This is important stuff.
Anyway, as I walked down 112th Street in Forest Hills, I couldn’t help but noticing something: Everybody has the exact same halogen lamp. This one. Seriously, everyone. In a walk that couldn’t have been more than a half-mile, I must have seen more than 20 of them, and that was just in apartments that happened to have had lights on and been visible from the street. I realize these lamps are cheap, plentiful and fairly attractive, but can’t anyone be more original than that?
I can’t really criticize, though, because I have an embarrassing confession: I used to own that lamp, too. However, I’ve moved on, opting instead to try one-upping everyone in the neighborhood with my stunning apartment and unique aesthetic sensibility, and maybe everyone else should start thinking about that, too. Or then again, maybe not — they make the one-upsmanship just a little easier.