Why my apartment is better than yours

Last night after dark, as I returned home from parking my borrowed car in Vladivostok, I engaged in my new favorite pastime ever since I’ve become a homeowner: looking into people’s windows. I know it’s very wrong, but I love doing it — I need to know how my apartment compares to the others in the neighborhood. Do they look worse than mine? How much worse? A lot? This is important stuff.

Anyway, as I walked down 112th Street in Forest Hills, I couldn’t help but noticing something: Everybody has the exact same halogen lamp. This one. Seriously, everyone. In a walk that couldn’t have been more than a half-mile, I must have seen more than 20 of them, and that was just in apartments that happened to have had lights on and been visible from the street. I realize these lamps are cheap, plentiful and fairly attractive, but can’t anyone be more original than that?

I can’t really criticize, though, because I have an embarrassing confession: I used to own that lamp, too. However, I’ve moved on, opting instead to try one-upping everyone in the neighborhood with my stunning apartment and unique aesthetic sensibility, and maybe everyone else should start thinking about that, too. Or then again, maybe not — they make the one-upsmanship just a little easier.

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4 responses to “Why my apartment is better than yours

  1. Perhaps you should post photos of your own lamp on their windows to stoke the fires of competition!

  2. It’s a slippery slope from mere Peeping Tom activities, I suppose.

    We’ve got these:

    Floor lamp
    Surprisingly large table lamp

  3. Does that M mean that only Melissa can use the pillow?

    I’m pretty much working off ceiling and ceiling fan lights entirely.

  4. That’s not an actual photo of our place! I got it off the Pottery Barn website. Our throw pillows say M and S on them.

    We’ve got a couple of ceiling fans in the other rooms. Good stuff.

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