The world’s real dumbest criminals, really

Reports of the so-called “world’s dumbest criminals” are a dime a dozen, but most of the criminals in question usually just make some minor tactical errors or aren’t observant enough. They rob a donut shop next to a police station, for example. No, a select few criminals can be dumb on a higher level — they can sit down, think very, very hard, and plan a crime spree that has approximately zero chance of ending without them dead. Like these morons, who got killed 12 years ago after concocting a brilliant scheme to rob mobsters at gunpoint. (I like how the NYT seems to be trying to find a way to call them stupid without calling them stupid.) You can almost see the logic here — mobsters have a lot of money. They’re probably not going to report anything to the cops. Let’s walk into their private clubs with Uzis and take all their money!

If it takes 12 years to arrest a suspect in your death because the Mafia families were fighting over who should get credit, you probably made the wrong decision.


2 responses to “The world’s real dumbest criminals, really

  1. You’re right about NYT “calling them stupid” without actually saying it outright. Instead they planned an “ill-advised, foolhardy and just plain dangerous” series of strong-arm robberies. Heh.

    Also, the guy they arrested is named Dominick Pizzonia. Every single time I see that, I swear that they just arrested the Domino’s Pizza guy. Every time. (Maybe he’ll get bail money from The Noid.)

  2. DONT Speak of the pizzonia name

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